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May 28, 2014
Anger is Good
Parents get angry, but anger isn’t always bad. In fact, parents often get angry when children are doing something wrong. It’s best to view anger as a flag, created by God, that says, “Something is wrong here.” The something wrong may be an unrealistic expectation on the parent’s part, but it’s often a problem in the child that needs attention. Disobedience, selfishness, arguing, and bickering are just a few of the things that make parents angry. Anger can be a tool to point out problems in life.
The danger comes when parents use anger to solve problems. That’s when people get hurt, relationships become strained, and distance is the inevitable result. It’s one thing to see those muddy shoes on the floor. It’s yet another thing to start yelling at your son.
We say that anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them. That’s the conclusion we’ve come to after looking at several Bible passages related to anger. James 1:19-20 and Ephesians 4:26-31, for example, show two sides of anger. On the one hand they warn strongly against it, but on the other hand, anger isn’t prohibited but is limited.
So the next time you feel angry, stop for a moment, thank the Lord for revealing a problem, try to figure out what it is, and then go back into the situation with a constructive plan for solving it. This will take practice but children provide many opportunities to develop more Godly patterns in anger management.
This parenting tip comes from the book “Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids” by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.